A Harmonious Family that Never Strays from faith

Heng Meng Lian Derrick Men Division
Ho Wei Lin Angeline Women Division
Richmond Heng Young Men Division
Rayner Heng Young Men Division

I was a very cheerful and outgoing person leading a carefree life and flying around the world as a leading stewardess with Singapore Airlines. Life was alright until I married and had children.

Pregnant with my elder son, Richmond, I resigned to be a full-time mother. However, I had great difficulty looking after Richmond as he cried all the time. Then I had post-natal depression and my husband had to resign from his IT job to look after us. He gave private tuition at our home.

Derrick: Looking after Angeline was very challenging. She was very negative, fatigued, and had poor appetite. To support her, I needed to listen attentively to all her needs even though it was so irrational at times. A very impatient person, she really tested my patience. But I had to slow down my pace to be compassionate and embrace her wholeheartedly.

Angeline: Then, in 2004, at the 7th month of my second pregnancy, my doctor shocked us with news that the ultrasound scan showed a dark patch covering my foetus’s brain. The doctor cautioned us to prepare for the worst. I was devastated, “Why my baby?”

After Rayner was born, he underwent multiple check-ups and tests. There was a very large water cyst in his brain. At six months he had a major operation to implant a ventriculoperitoneal (VP) shunt to drain off excess water. I cried every day and blamed myself for causing my baby so much suffering.

Then, I met an ex-neighbour who introduced me to Nichiren Buddhism and advised me to chant the daimoku of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. For my son’s sake, I started chanting daimoku whole-heartedly every day with support from many leaders and members. We chanted continuously for five hours during Rayner’s brain operation. The operation was very successful. This actual proof helped me realised that practising Nichiren Buddhism with determination and effort will lead my family to happiness.

Hence, I participated actively in Gakkai activities with my two sons, sharing this actual proof at different discussion meetings and this wonderful Buddhism with many friends who may face similar medical conditions and challenges.

In 2014, I suddenly felt very sick, had no appetite, gastric reflux and tightness in my chest and couldn’t sleep. I was fearful all the time and lost about eight kilograms in two months. Eventually, I was hospitalised, spent a huge sum of money and still no diagnosis.

I was unable to chant and felt life was not worth living. Many leaders, members and my family chanted earnestly with me. Eventually, I was able to chant again, and my husband, Derrick, took me to a psychiatrist who diagnosed that I had anxiety disorder and depression, probably due to accumulated stress.

I was prescribed medications, but more importantly, I knew I needed to overcome my own fundamental darkness. Convinced that “winter always turns to spring” (WND-1, p.536) I chanted abundant daimoku, praying to be healthy again and participate happily in Gakkai activities.

I strongly believed it was the good fortune I had accumulated over my years of practice that contributed to my recovery. My husband played a big part in my recovery, too.

Derrick: After witnessing many positive changes in Angeline’s attitude and improvement in Rayner’s health condition, I started practising Nichiren Buddhism in 2008. With her persistence, she finally invited me to a Soka activity. Hearing the resounding daimoku I felt very calm and started chanting silently in my heart. I believed she must have set a very concrete prayer to enable me to practise.

After three years of attending meetings, Buddhist study and prayer sessions I was approached to assume a leadership role. I was worried that I wouldn’t have the time and capability.

Nevertheless, after discussion with Angeline, we agreed that it was my mission to express my gratitude, contribute back to the organisation and change our family karma. I accepted the challenge and though I was still busy with work, I surprisingly had more time to participate in more Gakkai activities such as preparation for monthly discussion meeting, visiting members and helping out in Soka rites and events.

My whole family participated in Chingay 2019, a wonderful family bonding experience as everyone was busy with individual daily routines and did not leave time for family. With this Buddhist practice, we found common topics to discuss and thus, build stronger family ties to contribute to Singapore kosen-rufu together.

Richmond (elder son): I agree. Since young, I have been attending meetings with my mother, and I always found time to participate in Gakkai activities despite much schoolwork.

I helped in various Gakkai activities and was Student Division Campus IC that provided opportunities for interaction and Buddhist study, thus broadening my perspective. I transformed from an introvert to an extrovert.

In May 2020, I enlisted for National Service, signed on as a Navy regular and was shortlisted for the Naval Officer Cadet course. The 9-month rigorous physical and mental training at the Officer Cadet School and out at sea were very challenging. Nevertheless, with gratitude and a mission for kosen- rufu, my life grew and expanded, and I was finally commissioned a Singapore Navy Officer.

A polytechnic graduate of Food and Beverage Management, I successfully enrolled in NTU’s Maritime Studies and was shortlisted for an SAF academic scholarship. Throughout the intensive selection process my whole family set very concrete prayers and chanted together for my study in NTU to be fully funded by SAF. That really helped to lighten my parents’ financial burden in the 4-year course.

I truly believe that SGS provided good opportunities to develop wisdom and courage to step out of my comfort zone. Ikeda Sensei says, “The true spirit of youth is that of challenge…” (NHR vol.4, “Fresh Leaves” chapter).

Rayner (younger son): Indeed! While preparing for the PSLE in 2017, I had constant headaches and numbness in my hand. I was admitted to hospital with a very high fever and my left eye was partially blind. The family was shocked but continued to chant earnestly for my good health. Despite my health condition, I participated in Gakkai activities throughout the years.

During my 2021 medical review, the neurologist said that the cyst should not affect my life. I was doing well in my studies and continued actively as CCA Captain in table tennis and a student leader. However, I performed very badly at the Secondary 4 mid-year exam and scored an F9 grade for Accounts. That was a wake-up call! I became more serious in faith and started to chant daimoku frequently.

Sensei says that a student “should study hard before an examination” so with renewed determination I concentrated on my studies to do my best for the GCE O-Level exam and scored well. I am currently pursuing a diploma in IT Security Management.

I am very grateful for my very supportive parents and brother who care and earnestly pray for my good health and victory. I am also grateful to be in this wonderful SGS that helps me gain confidence to face future challenges and become a better person through human revolution. I vow to continue practising this Buddhism earnestly and share my experience with friends around me.

Richmond: Yes, Ikeda Sensei says, “Practising Nichiren Buddhism does not mean that our lives will always be smooth. Life is a series of ups and downs, challenges and adversity. We should expect to encounter suffering, hardship and sadness. At such times, we should chant with all our might. If we do, in the light of the teachings of Buddhism, we are certain to be able to breakthrough those difficulties. As we repeat this process throughout our lives and continue to strive for kosen-rufu, we’ll achieve our human revolution and build a life state of absolute happiness.

That’s the path of faith. So, no matter what happens, never stray from faith.” (The New Human Revolution vol 22, “Currents” chapter)

I resolve to do my best for kosen- rufu and continue to reach out to more youths around me to repay my debts of gratitude to my mentor Ikeda Sensei and all who have supported me on my faith journey.

Derrick: Over the years, my family has overcome challenges especially in health and finance, and we are able to do yearly financial contributions. As a district leader, I am determined to foster more capable young successors.

Angeline: Having faith enables me to bring forth the sun of hope from within my heart and I will actively continue my Buddhist practice and contribute my utmost for kosen-rufu.

(Adapted from November 2023 issue of Creative Times)