Goh Ah Moi
Women Division
Ikeda Sensei once said, “This ultimate way of life of Buddhism views all phases and aspects of our existence as a succession of battles that must be fought and won… And for those who earnestly take on these battles, everything that happens in life, even on the level of society, becomes part of their Buddhist practice. That is, everything comes to accord with the principle of ‘Buddhism is win or lose’.” (The World of Nichiren Daishonin’s Writings, “A Discussion on Humanistic Religion” )
My life has indeed been a succession of such battles, and I have been striving with the spirit of “Buddhism primarily concerns itself with victory or defeat,” (WND-1, p. 835), as Nichiren Daishonin teaches.
In 1983, my husband’s business failed, incurring a hefty debt. Moreover, my children were in frail health and often fell ill. Life was so painful that I often had thoughts of ending it all. Just then, a Women Division (WD) member introduced me to Nichiren Buddhism. She spent over a year encouraging me to practise this faith, sharing her experiences in faith and accompanying me to activities such as study and discussion meetings. At one such meeting, I was deeply encouraged by the testimonies the members shared. I longed to achieve victory in my own life and be able to encourage others as they did.
Touched by this WD member’s sincerity, I began to practise seriously. I saw actual proof in my struggle with insomnia, and I enshrined the Gohonzon that same year. Thereafter, I actively participated in Gakkai activities and diligently chanted Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. Through fervent prayers, I developed the wisdom to care for my children and their health improved tremendously.
Overcoming My Injury with Steadfast Faith
In 2002, I fractured my third vertebra in a fall. The doctor recommended that I either wear a back brace or undergo surgery. I decided to wear a back brace. During my three-month recuperation, SGS publications Creative Life and Soka Times became my source of spiritual strength. I eagerly devoured all of Ikeda Sensei’s writings such as The New Human Revolution, and was greatly encouraged by the members’ testimonies.
Learning about Ikeda Sensei’s tireless efforts for worldwide kosen-rufu spurred me to realise my own mission in life as his disciple. I vowed to break through my own suffering and win without fail. Despite severe pain, I chanted ten hours of daimoku daily with the determination to return to work and continue my kosen-rufu efforts. Eventually, I made a full recovery and worked for another 12 years before retiring.
Human Revolution amidst My Marriage Breakdown
The trials and tribulations that filled my marriage helped me to grow stronger. I remember a particular day when my husband returned home drunk and we got into an argument. In his rage, he even smashed my Buddhist altar onto the floor. Fearing that such an incident might occur again, I temporarily kept my Gohonzon at a leader’s house. My leader encouraged me to chant with firm conviction to overcome this ordeal, transform the situation and create a condition where I could practise faith freely and joyfully. True enough, after a month of fervent prayers, consistent efforts and showing my husband patience and understanding, he assured me that I could bring the Gohonzon back home.
In 2006, my life took another turn. My husband wanted a divorce and even wanted to sell our house. I was worried — not only about losing my family but also the home we lived in. At the same time, my son got into some trouble, which added to my emotional agony. I was in such pain that I could not articulate my feelings or bring myself to confide in anyone.
I turned to Ikeda Sensei’s guidance, “When we’re suffering, feeling sad, or experiencing hard times, we should take everything to the Gohonzon with an open heart, like a child who throws itself into its mother’s arms and clings to her. The Gohonzon will ‘listen’ to everything. Let’s chant as if carrying on a conversation, confiding our innermost thoughts. In time, even hellish sufferings will vanish like the morning dew and seem but a dream.” (The Wisdom for Creating Happiness and Peace, Part 1: Happiness, 3.1)
With that, I poured my heart into my prayers, determined to win again based on faith. Eventually, I manifested the wisdom and strength through prayers to go through various legal procedures and negotiations and managed to keep the house. After the divorce, I struggled to face the failure of my marriage. I also had the challenge of guiding my son back on the right path. During the darkest period of my life, my mentor’s words were like rays of sunshine warming my heart.
In one of his guidance, Ikeda Sensei quoted the words of Madame Laureana San Pedro Rosales, the founder of Capitol University in the Philippines and said, “‘The word surrender is not in my dictionary’ and ‘Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today’ — Madame Rosales has based her life on positive mottos such as these. Mothers are strong, undefeated, undeterred, and determined to live out each day to the fullest. Her indomitable will to survive has triumphed, and she has surmounted all obstacles.” (The Light of the Century of Humanity, “The Peerless Women of Soka” — Part 3)
Through faith, practice and study, my sorrow and self-pity gradually gave way to a deep sense of meaning and purpose. By actualising my human revolution throughout this process, I realised everything that I had gone through made me who I am today – a woman of strength, courage, conviction and compassion. I am able to empathise with and encourage fellow WD members precisely because of my own struggles.
I also began to see my husband with compassion and gratitude. Despite everything, he had supported me in many ways during our 30 years of marriage, even driving me to work and Gakkai activities.
Savouring a State of Absolute Freedom
Ikeda Sensei says, “True and eternal freedom is attained by living aligned and in rhythm with the Mystic Law, by chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo and sharing it with others. This is the way to become an awakened, liberated person, to achieve a free, expansive, unobstructed state of being, and lead a truly unencumbered life in which we can savour the utmost happiness and joy to our heart’s content.” (The Wisdom for Creating Happiness and Peace, Part 1: Happiness, 1.5)
In 2019, I moved to a new home in Punggol located near Punggol Soka Centre. I joined the White Phoenix Group since 1984 and now regularly help with cleaning duties at the Punggol Soka Centre. In the process, I have forged deep bonds with my fellow White Phoenix Group members as we encourage each other in faith in our third stage of life.
As a retiree, I also strive to build warm friendships with my neighbours, and contribute to the community just as my mentor teaches. I always carry an SGS brochure with me, as sharing Buddhism has become second nature to me. Whenever the opportunity to encourage or share faith with people I meet arises, I would not hesitate to do so. I am truly grateful to have introduced a few people to the practice and witnessed their lives transformed for the better.
After more than 40 years of Buddhist practice, I am now savouring a state of life of absolute freedom, where joy wells forth from within every day and I can contribute to kosen-rufu to my heart’s content. This is a complete transformation from the woman I once was – helpless, trapped in poverty and family struggles, and lacking life force.
With a heart full of gratitude, I am determined to continue sharing Buddhism with others. I will pray and take action so that my children and grandchildren can connect to this Buddhist practice and savour the same profound happiness I am experiencing. I am also committed to fostering youthful successors for kosen-rufu in Singapore.
Regardless of the challenges I will face in the future, I will continue to use every experience as an opportunity to carry out my human revolution and create value. Together with my comrades in faith, I will keep strengthening my faith and remain steadfast in my Buddhist practice to the very end, just as my mentor had taught.
(Adapted from Creative Times, October 2025 issue)
